Category Archives: learning

Seek First to Understand

seven habits of highly effective people
I’ve been reading “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” for the past two weeks and tonight read about the 5th Habit: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Here’s a summary of the idea:
Most people listen to others with an aim to solving problems, expressing an opinion or responding to what the other person has said. Although most of us believe we listen, very few of us truly seek to understand what’s going on deeply in the people we speak with. The paradox is that we don’t truly understand, we haven’t earned the right to be heard; on the other hand, if we truly understand the other person’s point of view and they sense that, we’ve earned the right to be heard and they actually want to hear our point of view.

I realized in reading this is one of the subtle changes that has happened in my life since moving to Turkey. I used to be a horrible listener. Because I had a lot of friends, and was a pretty open person, people would open up to me and ask for advice a lot. Often when people came to me with problems, I would prescribe, advise and preach to them as soon as they finished describing their problem. I spent very little effort seeking to understand them.

Somehow this has changed in me, and I find that friends from back home and current friends don’t see me as the blunt person that I was in the past. I’ve often wondered what has changed me. Of course a big part of it must be simply the maturing process of becoming an adult, but I think it can mainly be attributed to the fact that living in a foreign country has caused me to “seek first to understand.”

From the time I arrived here, I’ve been in a constant struggle to understand what’s going on around me. It starts from day one; “Why is Adana so dead in the summer?” “Why are there flags on the balconies?” “Why are people so proud of their shopping mall?” It continues into language learning; “what did he say?” “What does that phrase mean in English?” “Was he talking about me?” and continues even beyond the four year year mark to today. I read the paper and listen to spoken Turkish with all of my concentration in order to accurately understand what’s being said. I’m constantly trying to improve my ability to understand not only the language, but also the cultural subtleties that come through in daily life. I’m constantly seeking to understand.

I believe this has benefited me greatly in my personal life. Because of living in a place where I’m constantly surrounded by things I don’t understand, I’ve learned the practice of seeking to understand well. I hope my friends and family feel better understood by me when I talk with them. I have Turkey to thank for this.

Amy’s Experience (part 5)

The final installment of Amy’s story about learning language and learning Turkish. I hope it’s been enriching for all of you. I know it has for me. (Start at the beginning.)
amy

As for English in Turkey, I find it somewhere in the middle of Finland and Brazil. Even though I go to a university where all classes are taught in English, most students are not able to communicate fluently in English. They can read Plato in English, but speaking is another story with them. They learn the basics of English in High school, but most of them had to take a preparatory year at Bogazici University in order to learn English. This late learning may be to blame for their inability to pronounce English words very well. Even though Finnish also does not contain the English sounds of “w” or “th”, they are usually able to pronounce them without a problem. But in my university, most of the professors can’t even pronounce the sounds. Turkey is a bit more self-contained than other European countries, so knowing English is not as imperative as in other places. I find that what Turkey lacks in its English learning is strictness. Most students can get away with bad grammar and pronunciation for years. One attribute that Turkish people have that I believe is admirable, though, is they seem to be much more outgoing in using what little English they know. If they sense that you are foreign, they will almost always switch to English when communicating with you, even if their English is seriously flawed. I find this refreshing, as most people in the world are very hesitant to use languages other than their mother tongue. While Finnish people were obsessed with asking me if their grammar was correct, as it always was, Turkish people don’t really seem to care. They are more interested in communicating than in communicating correctly.
I’ve found English education to be quite uneven in the places I’ve lived in the past five years. Even more, trying to learn so many languages in such a short time, although difficult, has given me a better advantage to comparing the ease with which I learned them. What I have found is that any language, no matter how far from one’s mother tongue, is obtainable if one is pushed to use it for survival’s sake. If only I could follow my own words of wisdom when it came to learning Turkish, all my problems would be solved.

Amy’s Experience (part 4)

Amy arrives in Turkey in the fall of 2007 to a little different experience. (Cut to the start of Amy’s journey here.)
amy

Now I am in Turkey and I have had a completely different experience once again. First of all, I’m having a very difficult time learning Turkish. I am in “Turkish for foreigner’s” classes at Bogazici University, but I continue to use English in communicating with my friends, boyfriend, and professors. My university is taught in English, so I don’t have the opportunity at school to use Turkish very much. Also, Bogazici is a very difficult university, and staying on top of my school work is my number one priority. With so little time to devote to Turkish, I feel silly trying to use what little I know. I’m in an intermediate Turkish class, but I find understanding conversations around me extremely difficult. I know from experience that the only way to learn to understand is to learn to speak. Maybe somewhere along the way I picked up a bit of “Finnishness”, because I am extremely reluctant to use what Turkish I do know. I want it to be absolutely perfect before I attempt it, which is silly because I know from my time in Brazil that people are not looking for perfect grammar from a foreigner. It’s so much easier to take the easy way out and duck into the familiar territory of English. All of my roommates are Turkish, but they communicate in English with me. It’s hard, once the routine of speaking English in a relationship is established, to undo it. I’ve come to a point where I know I need to just take the dive into Turkish. My lack of Turkish has put a rift between me and Turks as well as between me and Turkey. I know language and culture cannot be separated. Only when you know one can you truly know the other. However, it’s those first steps that I’m afraid of. You would never know when you see me so afraid to speak Turkish that I am tri-lingual!

Amy’s Experience (part 3)

Amy gives language learning a second shot… this time in Brazil, with a little different experience. (read the start of her story here)
amy

In 2005 I joined the Rotary exchange bandwagon once again, this time to an extremely small town in south eastern Brazil called Piumhi. It could not have been a more different experience from my experience in Finland. Within 3 months I was communicating well in Portuguese. After 7 months I was living, breathing, dreaming, reading, writing, and speaking Portuguese as if I was born doing so. My weekly conversations in English to my mother in America became more and more difficult as my English deteriorated as I used it less and less.
One thing I can attribute this fast learning to was the fact that English education in Brazil is seriously lacking. I HAD to learn Portuguese because there was no other way to communicate. Few Brazilians travel outside of Brazil, so knowing English is usually a luxury that is pushed aside in favor of other, more practical learning. I lived with 4 host sisters who all went to a private high school, so their English should have been better than it was. I’ll never forget trying to help the youngest sister with her English homework. She was 12 and had been taking English lessons at school for 4 years, but when I asked her what “nos” was in English, she had no clue. I couldn’t believe that after 4 years of English class she didn’t know the word “we”.
In these cases, the difference in English was attributed to two things: the need to learn and the quality of learning. In Finland, quality public education is offered to everyone, whereas in Brazil, private lessons are the only answer to wanting to learn English, and few families can afford that option.

Amy’s Experience (part 2)

So why do the Fins speak such good English? Amy explains here. Read the first part of Amy’s story here.

One of the reasons I have for explaining this is that Finnish is only spoken by 5 million people in the world. Finland is not self sufficient in business and relies heavily on foreign trade and business. English is not just an asset there, it is an absolute necessity. Another reason to explain Finns unusual adeptness would be their perfectionism. One of the first words used to describe Finland by anyone who has been there is “order”. Everything in Finland works like clockwork, from their bus and train system to their amazingly clean nature and streets. Finns are extremely dependable and expect the same from others. The idea that a foreigner would try to converse with them and they might not be able to flawlessly communicate back is unacceptable to them. In my English classes at my Finnish high school I saw first-hand the strictness of teachers in emphasizing not just communication, but FLAWLESS communication. Of course, after years and years of being corrected over and over again on their pronunciation and grammar, many are a bit shy to show off their skills. Many times I would approach someone and ask “Do you speak English?” (knowing of course it was a pointless, though polite, question). The answer would usually be either “No, I do not speak English” or “I’m so sorry my English is not very good”. Note of course the flawless grammar in their denial. And of course there was the occasional person who would approach me with a question like “Amy, could you please explain to me the correct usage of the word “alacrity?” to which my answer would usually be something like “Alacra what?”

Learning Turkish Revisited

I had a great comment a couple weeks ago from Amy about some things I wrote a while back about learning Turkish. It was so insightful that I asked her to write a little about her experience. This week’s posts will be focused on her experience. Tonight, however, I want to highlight the series I did a few months back about foreigners learning Turkish. If you’re new to my blog, or trying to learn Turkish, I’d encourage you to check out these posts and the comments.

How it got started
My Experiences with Turkish
A reality check
Difficulties between Turkish and English
Lying in a second language
Melissa’s Journey (reading without speaking)
Turkish kids learn faster
Thoughts from a Turkish teacher
Turkish learners of English

Tips for living in Turkey

time out istanbultime out istanbul
I picked up the October issue of Time Out Istanbul* yesterday an loved the cover story. The feature I really enjoyed was called “Home Sweet Home.” It has brief but very personal accounts of 16 different people commenting on their home, work and neighborhood situations. They answer these questions:
I live in:
I work in:
I get there:
I shop in:
I have fun:
My tips for enjoying life in Istanbul:

The contributors to the piece are men and women…single and married…Turkish, Canadian, American, German, British and Australian…. authors, chefs, entrepreneurs, artists, community organizers, guides, journalists, advertisers, teachers and film makers…. I think the reason I enjoyed the article so much is that it gave me a little glimpse into the lives of 16 people I’d like to meet, but probably never will. It’s fun to take note of lives that are so similar… But so different. Most people of the people in the article seem to share the contentment I experience feeling at home as a foreigner in Turkey despite our vast differences in life-stage, age, lifestyle, work or whatever. I particularly enjoyed reading people’s tips for enjoying life in Istanbul.

I want to recommend that foreigners living in Turkey run out and buy it. I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.

* Time Out Istanbul is a magazine in English for tourists a similar magazine is available in many destination cities worldwide, I’ve read it a few times in hotels or whatever and haven’t been crazy about the magazine, so don’t take this as a recommendation.

Ottoman Involvement in WW1

ottomans before world war 1
Thanks to all who answered my request for info on how the Ottoman Empire entered WW1. I’m always amazed at how much I can learn by reading the comments on my own blog. I’ll try to summarize and synthesize what’s been written there. Please check out their entire comments. I’ll use liberty in editing, and if I misrepresent you, please let me know.

Superhero said that the Ottoman Empire was at the verge of collapse and everybody could see that. The Turks thought that participating in the war might help the empire to survive although they couldn’t decide which side they should join. They also knew that everybody wanted a share Anatolia, so it would be a lose-lose game for the Turks either way.

The Ottomans allied with the Germans by secretly helping German destroyer ships escaping from the English navy, by buying the ships for what 1 lira. The ships were bannered them with Turkish flags and sent to Russia to bomb civilian cities.

thats how and why we got into the war in brief. i like history and i would like to provide you a better article written by my own self, but i cant promise anything because i am already too busy with my own work load.

A2Buzer said that by betting on the wrong side, the result was catastrophe for everyone living in anatolia. The Ottoman Empire, which had continued to exist to balance the European powers against each other, was bound to fall.

Raymond commented that this decision is still having repercussions in the present as evidenced by the recent US Congressional vote regarging the Armenian issue. Incidentally I couldn’t agree with him more on his assessment of America’s role in all of this.

James in Turkey rounded off the discussion with some more history by stating that The Ottoman Empire fell into the same trap that Germany and Austria, and indeed Britain, France and Russia did, thinking it would be a short, satisfactory war bringing them territory and riches. They also thought they would win quickly but in contrast were thrown into the bloodiest conflict in history.

The Ottomans needed a victory because of great losses in Europe, rising ethnic tension within its own borders, and the approach of Russia from both sides of the Black Sea.

This decision severed ties with England, when the British cancelled an Ottoman order for two battleships and kept them for themselves. It was Germany who replaced those two battleships, and it was with those two battleships that the Ottomans bombed the Russian port of Odessa, thus entering the war.

There were several implications. One is that it was almost the end of a career for Winston Churchill, who came up with the idea of landing at Gallipolli, where thousands were killed.

Mainly the implications for Ottomans included, the end of the Empire. Istanbul was occupied, Anatolia was divided, a whole idea of Turkish nationalism was fostered in a state. Many Armenians joined the Russians and the scene was set for significant killing along ethnic lines.

Finally, some great resources were recommended by Gulay and abuzer; namely David Fromkin’s “A Peace to End All Peace,” “Ataturk” by Andrew Mango, and the Penguin history of Europe.

I look forward to hearing more about this in the comments.

Taking Better Pictures


Have you ever wanted to learn more about how to take good photographs? You know, the kind of photo that people notice as actually having artistic value. I don’t believe I’ve come to that point yet, but I will say that everything I’ve ever learned about how to take a good picture has come from this website featured on BBC’s website.

This short tutorial by Tom Ang gives tips on how to position a shot,lighting, color, landscape, photographing people and being ready to shoot. I’ve taken time to read one section of this site at a time, and find that the tips are extremely helpful. It’s helped me on a small scale to think like a photographer and to start developing it as a skill.

Coming across this page reminded me of how much I miss having my camera with me. It’s been out of town for repairs. Hopefully I’ll be taking pictures, and learning as I go, again very soon.

Dreaming about the future

I never thought of a university education as a dream killer. I know that in a country like Turkey with less opportunity and higher unemployment, entrance into the university is a ticket to a better life for most, and that is undoubtedly a good thing. Interestingly though, I heard testimonies in an English conversation group this week of how it can also be the end to one’s dreams. I was a little saddened and surprised to hear the following responses to the question, “what is your dream job?”

The first person to answer the question was a 15-year old High School student. He said he wanted to be a doctor. His parents are both doctors, and it seemed like a cool job to him. As he told his dream, a 40 something woman in the group asked if he knew what it meant to be a doctor. She is a doctor and insisted that it’s not worth it. When her turn came she explained that that her dream since she as a child was to be an actress in the theatre. She enjoyed it when she was young and thought she was quite talented. Although she’s a successful doctor and an associate professor, she wishes she’d pursued her acting dreams. She also said again that the money doctors make isn’t worth the work they put into the education.

Ali was next. He explained that he’d always wanted to be the a ship captain. When he scored high enough on the university exam to go to the naval academy he was happy but his father said no. He settled for food engineering. That’s what he’s studying now at the university.

After Ali was Gozde who said she said she’d always dreamed of being a math teacher because she loved math and wanted the joy of teaching it to others. She changed her mind though when she didn’t score high enough on the university exam to get into the dep’t of education. She’s now in the university training to be a nurse. She said that she didn’t want to go through the stress of taking the exam again and that’s why she chose nursing.

Gokcen is a dentist preparing to do a PhD in orthodontics. She said that she’s wanted to be a dancer since she was a child. Her parents told her clearly that it was only to be pursued as a hobby. She pursued dentistry out of obligation as well, not out of desire.

I don’t think I’ve ever realized what a gift it is that American university students have the freedom to change their major at will. When I think about how much my desires in life changed between the ages of 15 and 25, I’m really glad that I didn’t have to choose my career at that time.